“Drown in the ocean, scream at the mountains”

I walk so staggered into the lights path, I walk so broken my knees break as I knee before the podium.
Life was filled with second glances and fool, only Aman in a world of painted pictures of plenty yet none to satisfy.
I feel so beyond repugnant and tooled, plasters in guilty fault, and masks scars grasping deep into my skins.
Pulled out of the womb, I’m torn from what is real and what is mother’s love.
Thrust into a world oh so cruel, so cold I touch the surface prying away my eyes.
I stammer at the notions and emotions afflicted being pulled under the seams.
I stutter as I find sand falling through my fingers in a raging scream as they fall.
They scream back as the sand clatters under the ocean of my world’s grasping hate and love.
Love for the want in another.
Hate for the cruel world thunder.
My world’s tragedy and crossed depiction of faulty and lust, but my world is so bleak and forgotten I feel the waves crash as I sink deep into the seas gaping mouthed words and waves.
I beg as the air leaves my screaming agony of lung, yet I feel no pain from this drown.
I lunge into the abyss as my heart beats ever listening for more intent and pain.
Oh begotten love for the emotion I have not.
Oh begone to the given soul of mine soon into heaven I give unto their angels as they sing.
So chorus and cherish and gorgeous be this serenity, but Oh; why the waves bury me deep into my shelter of the depiction of my life’s frame..
Feeling ever numb and struggled upon this wake..
God forgive me for I am but..
A ocean I have not given to thee…
Not given to love, or feel, or see.
Feel my grace unto Dawn’s break for I am hells wake as I walk..
I am.
But a fool standing amongst so much gold and silver..
I pull out my thirty pieces for you and others,
to handed back by many before my crucification
Only to have another saying gently from light so bright.
Son, the sea will rise and fall, as do the world’s ways of devotion, as do men and woman in time.
Yet i stand by the ocean still as can be trying to conquer the emotion and faults inside of thee.
You surely will fall, to rise unto heaven and grace..begging on bend knee.
Yet why do you fall.
I scream before the mountains and plains in drunken plunging blade deep into another.
Shedding my skin and mind for many a plenty.
Shedding my ever lasting love and care..
Pulling out my insides and gentle.
For I feel I’m only human..
I scream below that mountain in anger and feeling.
I’m only, but a man in your hands!
Still I try so hard to stand tall, and hard in my walk.
Repenting only begins with the giving of letting go past and future.
To stand in the moment.
Below cross and worship.
Why oh why..
Do I have such chaotic, such…

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