Can’t shake this feeling,
That’s inside of me,
Withdrawn from society,
My personality feels siamese,
Both sides;
At an endless rivalry.
When will I ever,
Understand my own psychology?
I’m split between the realms,
Of physical & philosophy,
What even is reality?
I just need some normality…

So nervous,
There’s that voice again,
Reminding me I’m worthless.
Choking on my words,
I’m converseless.
Curse this,
Mentality; I wish,
I could reverse this.
Feels like I’m destined,
To never reveal my purpose.
A fragile mind,
No one could interpret.
Who will ever understand,
The dreams of a broken man,
Fearful of the future,
And chained to his past.
As broken as an arm,
Shoved into a cast.
Shot down;
Like a cannonball,
That blasted,
Into the water,
Then splashed.
Memories burning,
Like a cigarette,
Dropping ash,
Onto the floor.
If I can’t feel,
Then what are,
Feelings even for?
Heart & brain,
At civil war.
It’ll end one day,
Or so I swore..
Sweating bullets,
From every pore.
Mind trippin’ like,
I took the;
Mushroom spore.
Kicked open,
The galaxies door,
For a galactic tour,
Of my own mental.
Brain’s broke;
But I think that’s,
What makes me,
So special.
Trying to find myself,
On a spiritual level.
But I’m stuck,
Trying to wrestle,
With the devil,
For my soul he wants,
To embezzle.
Bones crunch like,
Self hatred nestles,
In my vessels,
Mind skippin’ pebbles,
Until this sickness settles,
Holding weight,
Heavier than metal.
Just when things slow down,
Life slams the gas pedal,
Until I crash & burn.
Did I live & learn,
Or did I ignore everything,
I should have concerned?
Watched moments,
Pass me by while I turned,
On the rotisserie,
Reliving my misery,
Sent my prayers,
To the ministry,
But where’s the,
Symmetry in that?
Can’t speak to the,
Holy trinity cynically.
I must find divinity,
Within my epiphany,
Discover the mystery,
Of infinity;
Been seeking truth,
Since infancy.
This imagery.
Writ my passion,
In calligraphy.
Lent my sympathy,
To those who,
Left me;
With insufficiency.
I don’t know peace,
All I do is suffer,
They say it makes,
Me tougher;
But I keep slippin’,
Like the path I walk,
Was slathered in butter.
Never been much,
Of a cutter,
But I wanna feel,
Something that’s real,
Cause my heart’s,
Been fading,
Every demon,
For grief unforgivin’.
A life filled;
With anxiety,
Ain’t much of one,
Worth livin’.
But I’ll make it through,
My ambition still driven,
Me & destiny on collision,
This my provision,
I dare you to test my mission.

One thought on “Anxiety…

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