Every which way I move,
I’m still out the groove,
Bottled with the booze,
But that’s not relevant news.
My life; My right to choose,
How this universe,
My soul infuse.
Broken & bruised,
My drug money,
I should’ve,
Paid my dues.
Bills & groceries too,
But I’m just the,
Procrastinater accused.
With the things,
I got left to lose.
With all these,
Points of view.
What’s this world,
Coming too?
Sunny blues,
Rolling through,
Right on queue.
Mind skewed,
On the grill.
Handful of pills,
Bottle for the thrills,
Tryin’ to soak up,
The guts I spill,
I’ve lost control,
Of my own,
Free will.
Lucid dreams,
Killin’ my soul,
I fall for the tricks,
Picking up my pieces,
Like a pile of sticks.
Build my wall,
With mile of bricks.
Covert ops slick,
Don’t need your clique.
Keep your clock,
I still let my time tick.
Burning up like,
Dynamite wicks.
The flick of a Bic,
This feeling,
Leaves me quick.
Go the f__k away.
Don’t wanna be,
Depressed today,
Just this once,
Would that be okay??
That ain’t the,
Game they play.
Charging my dreams,
Til they pull back,
Like Olé.
Two colors I see,
Red & grey.
Sometimes I just,
Never know what to say.
Never know what to feel,
So I crack the seal.
Got the cash,
If you got the deal.
Just wanna remove,
My soul from the real,
But who knew,
The other side would,
Try to steal;
Stripping banana peel,
Past the point that,
I’ll never heal.
On the heel of life’s,
Grinding wheel,
Keeping me fiendin’,
My next meal,
My electrified eel.
They said slow down,
But I never yield.
Unsheathed my shield,
With a sword to wield,
Shot my brain,
To left field,
Kept & concealed.

First we do ecstasy,
Rage all night,
Followed by sex,
Then the z’s.
Got a premonition,
In the form of a breeze.
Telling me;
I’m not as free,
As I seem to be.
I am;
But to what degree?
I got what I want,
What about my needs?
Too high;
To even read,
Too stoned;
To even breathe,
Too tired;
To even leave,
Too dead;
To even bleed.
My god damn,
Selfish greed,
Let me proceed.
Motivation stuck,
Been smoking,
Too much weed.
Never the one,
Attempting to take lead.
Wrong kind of breed,
Sown within the seed.
Centipedes it’s way,
Into my darkest day,
And drains my energy.
Turns my inner Chi,
Into synergy.
Doping up my,
Inner fiend.
Don’t tempt a man,
That wants to stay clean,
For he has seen,
The in-between dimensions,
Split like symmetry,
Meddling in the middle,
With a fiddle & a bow string.
Playing the melancholy,
Tunes of life whilst,
Time springs,
Forward & f__ks up,
Just about everything.
All that I loved is fading,
So in return I keep sedating,
Mind masterbating,
Contemplating the devastating.
But with no knowledge,
To my head; were thoughts,
No mortal man has ever,
Withstood the trials of waiting,
I don’t wanna be like the rest,
So there’s no use in participating.

Just wanna,
Start over;
Just wanna,
Reach closure,
Just wanna,
Just wanna,
No more regret.
No one cares,
My only outlet.
Been getting high,
With the prophet,
Til I run low,
On profit.
Expel smoke,
When I cough it,
Sobriety nailed,
In the coffin,
Heart wandered,
And fell off in,
I fight & lose to,
Temptation often.
Dilutants come,
In the form of jaws,
With shark fins,
To take bites of,
Mental abortion,
Addiction coarsin’,
Grey matter distortion,
Let me be;
I put in my portion.
I’m done now,
The drugs;
Have won now,
Time to escape,
The rationale.
Hang with me,
The noose,
I’ve fashioned now.
Bet my folks,
Will be soo proud.
I’m sorry;
But these thoughts,
Much too loud.
Just another,
Face in the crowd,
Gotta sleep forever,
On that ninth cloud.

In all my poetry, I try to have a silver lining or bright side. This paragraph right here is the bright side. This poem was kinda dark, and for a good intention; reflection. This is from an old mentality of mine, one that constantly broke me down. I felt hopeless, lost with nowhere to go. Where I am now though, that’s the victory. Although I never journied deep into hard drugs, the ones I was involved with defeated me everyday. Keeping myself doped up & supplied, wasting money. Chasing a feeling that never stayed. Looking back now, it also wasn’t even much of a feeling at all. Temptation kept me under thumb, but I broke out from beneath, finding freedom from it’s pressure. These words reflect the old me, key word: OLD. I write about my realization & conquers as a person. To write about is to remove from myself, the hurtful piece of it. What I leave behind is what gets learned. But I’m happy to say I’ve changed my mindset & outlook on life for the better, and nothing can stop me now. Fuck Drugs.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s